DEAD.KILLZ.DEATH THREATZ.

xanga is dead.
MYSPACE MYSPACE M-Y-S-P-A-C-E.
this is the last time i am ever updating.
unless:

A. aliens take over and this is the only place i haven't talked about it on.
B. someone dies and i need another negitive energy outlet.
C. something extreamly insane happens and i'm sick of talking about it on myspace
D. i just feel like writing something dumb in here.
E. ALL OF THE ABOVE

 since this being my last up date and all. i will tell nobody what killz since XANGA IS DEAD.
                 i have come to this many conclusions:

1. boys. they just want a girl for [you know] and NOTHING MORE [xkljasfd]
they will tell you great things. you know how it goes. they make you all happy right before they tell you to hit SPLITSVILLE.  most likely for a lame reason.

2. sistahs before mistahs. lame. but true. i would have used chicks before __ _ _ _ but i hate the word chick. they might tell you "oh god, he is not great. i never thought he was funny. YET, he thought everything he said was HALARIOUS and that everyone should laugh. BUT NO ONE DID. and if they did. they were just being nice. you are better than him. he's just a retard that has a horrible attitude and needs a serious and embracing reality check." but alls well in the end. they'll still love you even though you blew them off to hang out with him and then got grounded because you missed your curfew because you were too wrapped up in what he was saying.

3. mint chocolate chip ice cream + bench warmers + drunken phone calls = NEVER AGAIN. well. okay. the mint chocolate chip ice cream can stay....and bench warmers was supaaa funny. but. the drunken phone calls. oh god. i'll pass. it just makes me think of how cute you are when you're slurring your speach. and that. is an image i would like to kick. yesss suhh. right in the face. at least now. anyways. i haven't been able to vent. at all. so i'm letting it out now. why so late? cause it never really hit me. until yes. NOW. not the day of. not the day after. not a week after. but yes INDEED...two and a half weeks after.

4.  GIRLS. they pretend to be your friend. and agree that so and so is pretty LAME. and even if she hated you before. and then befriended you. they will stab you a hundred times and laugh about it.

okay. the end. i'm done with xanga. i'm done venting. i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done.

I'm the most boring person you will ever meet.
i do boring things.
eat boring things.
say boring things.
I may fly kites at lunch;;
have 200 hundred couches;;
make great mixx cds;;
dance at random times;;
poke you;;
say dumb things;;
STILL;;;I'm boring.

but i loved the way the rain harmonized across your windshield;;;and the
playgrounds.
backseats
parking lots
street lights
and the music that always played in the background.
purple dinosaurs
plans
touching finger tip to finger tip
and how your heart beat sounded.

I stumbled when i saw your intentions.

There is this little thing i like.

And it's music that sounds like tigers getting brutally beaten.

 times square can't shine as bright as you...i swear it's true...

so maybe i will never learn to keep my mouth shut. I only stutter out some of the dumbest things ever said. I also succeed in embarrassing myself emmensly. Which after all...i should have just never said anything

and our clothes in a pile on the ottoman.

my consumption of cupcakes has grown and my body fat compusition has increase.

My heart is swollen with fondness. Good thing? I'd like to think so. My head is about to combust with all these thoughs. Contradiction....yes....underestemating....no.

I never want this feeling to go away. I never want to have to walk away from this. I never want this to end. Just tell me it won't.

A condescending echo never sounded better than this. Is this as good as it gets? Fade away...fade away.

                                                                           I ripped this up.

You tore me down.

                                                                                                                 Call this adbandonment.

                                Eat your heart out.

Let's make believe that the world is flat like the old days.

You can't hold me back.

wooden fences, buggy returns, adhesives, tears in fabric

                                                                                      Making sense? Oh god, I hope not.

                                                                                      Crumble this up and sit it on your dresser.

                                                                                      Every word i say is true.

                                                                                      This ink is bleeding through my paper.

                                                                                      You shouldn't think what you're feeling.

Super Heros fight crime.

Bounty hunters don't cry.                                         

Ninjas are invincible.

                                Tell me what you're thinking right now?

                                 Everybody knows it? So why can't I?

                                Drawing pictures in the fog.

                                 Find yourself a better line. Cause right about now...

                               You've got me wondering...curiosity...

                               It's still not getting the best of me...who's to blame.

 I was born a unicorn. I missed the arc but I could have sworn you'd wait for me.

I'm enjoying the weekends more. So much happens. Stuff I don't exactly expect to happen. Screaming at the movie screen with my BFFLS is great :] Post offices are amazing. Red lights are pretty burning red. Parking lots are the best under street lights.

when you were young you were the king of carrot flowers

I like missing half of class in teacher work rooms heating up GENERAL TAO'S CHICKEN AND CHICKEN FRIED RICE.

I get yelled at in the center of malls. "OMFG NATALIE YOU ARE THE MOST SELFISH PERSON IN THE WORLD!!!1!!1!!"

It hurt really bad. Especially when it's coming from my BFFL. I still love her...a whole lot.

You taste like a bad deciscion baby.

RIP JACQULYN'S HAMPSTERRRRR

 open up the sky and Let the cliches pour :]

Just one more plane ride and its done. we stood at statues at the gate....

I have a dora the explorer coloring book.

I COLOR IN IT EVERYDAY.

I SKIP MEALS AT LUNCH TO DO SO.

KILL THE MESSENGER

I ate a whole bag of gummi worms....in .00002 seconds. And then chugged a Nirvana Sobe.

I'm not your star....Isn't that what you said?

I don't understand at all. I don't understand why things randomly lead to dead ends.where you have to start all over.

And wonder where you took a wrong turn. Or some sort of detour. Or basiclly just where you messed up and everything tunred into a hideouscarwreck.

so i just loose every bit of motivation i had. and everything amounts to the heap of dishes that line the furniture of my room.<im living in your letters>

I've morphed in to such a slacker. It's so pathetic. Blasting zones lined with warning signs and caution taped fences, and cold drives with the sun setting behind the interstate conjunctions....when visits to waffle house mean more to you than sideways glances and high fives and hugs.

you just have to realize that things don't always go back the way there were because accidents aren't supposed to happen and from there everything is just a blurrr of fabricated and sugarcoated definitions of change.           akways assuming the worst

sunspots line the bare hallways where i saw it all, yeah....i saw it all go down. i just wish i never amounted to anything. so then this would be nothing compared to what i could have gone without.

i hate bad news. but i am bad news. i want to be good news. i don't want to be dreaded. i just want to stick to this traditions. Roulettes, Bawls, and forbiddon places with cracked bottles with cracked details of what i want to expect. knowing that it's really nothing. summer is so overrated and fall is underestimated. spring is never overlooked but falling back to winter is never dissatisfying.ihatefallingforyoureyes.

record shops with steady flowing music and crossed fingers were never better.  cuddling close to blankets and sheets.

as for now we're going to hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder how you're making out.